Navigating the Holidays with Dementia
Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One
The holiday season often brings a mix of joy, nostalgia, and stress — and for families caring for someone living with dementia, those emotions can be especially strong. You may feel torn between preserving cherished traditions and recognizing that things have changed.
Holidays can still be meaningful, just in a different way. With some planning, flexibility, and compassion, you can create moments of calm, connection, and joy for both you and your loved one.
1. Acknowledge That the Holidays May Look Different
It’s okay to grieve what’s changed. Many caregivers feel sad when long-standing traditions no longer fit their loved ones’ abilities or energy.
Try reframing your expectations — focus on connection instead of perfection.
“We may not do everything we used to, but we can still share moments that matter.”
Even simple moments — sitting together with soft music or looking through old holiday photos — can create warmth and togetherness.
2. Simplify and Prioritize What Matters Most
Instead of trying to do it all, focus on what brings the most comfort and meaning.
Host a smaller gathering or one at a quieter time of day.
Ask guests to bring dishes or help with setup and cleanup.
Avoid overstimulation — loud music, flashing lights, & large crowds can increase confusion or agitation.
A calm, predictable environment helps your loved one feel safe — and allows you to enjoy the day, too.
3. Prepare Family and Friends Ahead of Time
Many people want to help but don’t always know how. A brief conversation or note before a gathering can make a big difference:
“Mom may not remember everyone’s names, but she enjoys hearing familiar voices and being part of the celebration. Please speak slowly and one at a time. Talking about memories from the past helps her connect and reminisce.”
Setting expectations helps avoid awkward moments and encourages supportive interactions. Consider creating a quiet space for one-on-one visits — group conversations can quickly become overwhelming.
4. Build in Quiet and Rest
Even happy events can be tiring for someone living with dementia — and for caregivers too.
Schedule breaks before, during, and after gatherings.
Set aside a quiet room where your loved one can relax if overstimulated.
It’s perfectly fine to leave early or say no to certain invitations.
Protecting your loved one’s (and your own) energy helps everyone enjoy the moments that matter most.
5. Take Care of Yourself, Too
It’s easy for caregivers to put themselves last during the holidays.
Remember — your well-being directly affects your ability to care for your loved one.
Ask for help and accept it when offered.
Make time for something that brings you peace — a walk, journaling, quiet reflection, or connecting with a support group.
Let go of guilt. You are doing your best in a challenging season, and that’s enough.
You deserve comfort, joy, and rest — just as much as your loved one does.
6. Create New Traditions
While some old traditions may fade, new ones can bring joy and connection:
Play your loved one’s favorite holiday songs.
Bake one special recipe together.
Watch old family videos or decorate with familiar ornaments.
Give the gift of presence — slowing down and savoring small, shared moments.
The holidays are less about doing and more about being together.
7. For Loved Ones Living in Memory Care
If your loved one resides in a memory care community, consider celebrating in a way that supports their routine and comfort:
Rather than bringing them out of their familiar environment, reserve a private space within their community for a simple, meaningful gathering.
Remember, it doesn’t need to happen on the exact holiday day. Your loved one may have lost awareness of time and date and will simply enjoy the moment you create together.
Focus on connection, not the calendar.
In Closing…The holidays may look different now, but they can still be rich with meaning. By simplifying plans, setting boundaries, and caring for yourself as well as your loved one, you can create a season filled with calm, love, and connection.
The greatest gift you can give — and receive — this year is grace.
Susan Raychard, MOTR/L, CDP
